Chiang Mai - Adventures & Mishaps

One of my first undertakings in Chiang Mai is to purchase a local SIM card for my phone, and within minutes of activation the phone begins to ring. Upon answering I find myself talking to a young lady who maintains she's found my number in a contact magazine and will not be persuaded otherwise.

My friends tell me to 'run like the wind' but I figure a bit of local company will not hurt so I agree to meet the girl and on the following day we rendezvous. In the afternoon she takes me on a ride around the city on her motorbike, which is not the most calming experience by any means but serves as the beginning of my orientation to the town.

She seems like a nice enough girl although her English is poor and communication at any depth is next to impossible. It transpires that she's desperate to find someone to take her to New Zealand (or probably anywhere else in the world) so she latches onto me like a small and cute limpet. Despite my best efforts with my English Thai dictionary and my limited local vocabulary I am unable to convince her that going to New Zealand is a bad idea, nor do I manage to adequately explain to her that I will not help her with these plans so she continues to hang about. I purpose to find someone to act as an interpreter over the next day or so.

She proves to be even more determined than I imagine though, and, even when she arrives unannounced, and on several occasions finds me with other women, she still persists. I eventually break contact with her by leaving town for a while but she resurfaces six months later, when she somehow finds my email address, and remains in contact for several years, sending me emails telling of her movements, first from Bangkok, and then Pattaya, and most latterly from Singapore.

Chiang Mai offers many moments of amusement. My first evening back provides the sight of an elephant transported down the road on the back of a truck and of a young guy losing control of his motorbike and crashing into a street vendor's stall. Miscellaneous goods fly and there is much laughter from all concerned.

A sign on a tuk-tuk reads 'The driver has been trained. You will be serviced in a standard manner and with Safety'. There is little evidence of any sort of standard manner or safety in his driving however on the plus side I don't have the misfortune of being 'serviced' by the scruffy little bugger either. Another sign in a hotel states 'Enjoy our Massage. It is so good. It make you feel fly!' I wonder, is that 'pretty fly for a Thai guy'?

I find myself stumped for a while when I am asked 'My friend you' which it transpires translates to 'Where is your friend?' (i.e. 'Are you on your own?' or possibly even 'Is anyone going to come to your aid if I rob you?') and not necessarily 'You are my friend' as one might at first think.